For a big girl…

You’re pretty…for a big girl.

Sadly, I hear this often. From family, strangers, coworkers… Why can’t I just be pretty? Because I am, you know. Don’t feel sorry or offended for me, I’m long over that. The first couple times I was pissed off and offended and understandably hurt by the comment but over time I’ve realized that it’s the person the comment is coming from who is deserving of pity. Not me. How shallow (and ignorant) of a person do you have to be to look someone in the eye after looking them head to toe and say that?

One particular ongoing bitch (yep, I said it. She is.) that I’ve had to deal with over the last year who acts this way is a co-worker of mine. Now, for those of you who’ve never worked in a remote camp just know that it’s favorable if you all get along. I see this woman more than most of you see your children and spouses. We sleep in rooms next to each other; we eat at the same table morning and night and pass her in the halls every day. This past spring it was suggested that we add each other to our Facebook accounts to keep in touch should we need to get in contact as there is no telephone at work, to which I agreed was a good idea. At the time. I didn’t know she would be creeping my photos and taking notes. A while after that we were sitting outside one summer night just chit chatting about men and dating and she brought up a dating website that she had recently signed up for; one that I had been a part of off and on for years. She jokingly said she must have written the wrong thing because she was getting no bites and then showed me her profile. It wasn’t that bad at all, she had nice photos uploaded and the overall profile seemed normal to me. She then asked to see my profile to compare. Now, please note that there is a considerable age difference between the two of us; approximately 25 years, putting her in her mid fifties so you’d think that she would conduct herself with a bit more couth. Instead she examined my pictures and looked at me and said (and I swear to you I am not making this up!), “I don’t know how you do it. I just don’t understand how you get all of these hot men messaging you and dating you. Why not me? I’m in shape. I just don’t understand why men are attracted to bigger girls”.

Have you ever just stared at someone, stunned by their stupidity? I have. This was one of those times. What the hell did she just say? Seriously?! Who says that?! How do people carry on speaking this way to people and not have permanent black eyes?!

I was in shock. Offended, but mostly shocked that this seemed like something she says all the time and it’s no big deal. I wanted to retaliate and claw her eyes out with ignorant comments about her leathery skin, thinning ashy hair and small boobs. But I didn’t. Instead I answered her question with a simple sentence.

“Well, I’m probably a nicer person than you.”

There. Plain and simple. And true. If this woman carries herself the way she does with people she knows, I can only imagine how rude and blunt she is with perfect strangers.

I know why men are attracted to me. I’m smart. I’m hilarious. I’m a great listener. I’m witty and sarcastic. I’m fun to be around. It has nothing to do with my big ass, thunder thighs and squishy stomach, all of which are fabulous, by the way. It’s because I’m a good person. I don’t dismiss people because of their pants size or what they’re choosing to eat for lunch.

If only people paid more attention to what was coming out of their mouth rather than what they’re putting into it